The art of the cracker pie

For background information on cracker pies, you should read my post on drying apples and also on Mock Apple Pie (the quintessential cracker pie). A mock apple pie is made with Ritz crackers, sugar, lemon juice and cinnamon, but no apples. The combination of flavors fools your tastebuds into believing that it's a real apple pie.

This got me to wondering how else I could fool the tastebuds. It seemed to me that the specific flavor cues in the mock apple version came from the lemon, sugar and cinnamon. What if I switched it up?

What follows are three cracker pies that do NOT taste like apples. Try one and see what your brain makes of it.

Almond Cream Cracker Pie
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
Pastry for two 9-inch crusts, store-bought or homemade
45 Ritz Crackers (5 ounces), broken in half

1. In a small saucepan, combine the water, sugar and cream of tartar. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Reduce to a high simmer and cook for 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and set aside to cool to warm (about 30 minutes). Stir in the sour cream and almond extract.
2. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 425°F. Roll out the bottom crust and fit into a 9-inch pie plate.
3. Place the crackers in the crust and pour the warm sugar-cream over them. Roll out the top crust and place over the pie. Trim the edges and seal. Put 3 or 4 slits in the top of the crust to let steam escape.
4. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until the crust is crisp and golden. Let cool completely on a wire rack before serving.
Makes 10 servings

Butterscotch Cracker Pie
1 cup packed light brown sugar
3/4 cup water
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
2 tablespoons bourbon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons butter, cut into bits
Pastry for two 9-inch crusts, store-bought or homemade
45 Ritz Crackers (5 ounces), broken in half

1. In a small saucepan, combine the water, sugar and cream of tartar. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Reduce to a high simmer and cook for 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the bourbon, vanilla and butter, stirring until the butter is melted. Let cool to warm (about 30 minutes).
2. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 425°F. Roll out the bottom crust and fit into a 9-inch pie plate.
3. Place the crackers in the crust and pour the warm butterscotch syrup over them. Roll out the top crust and place over the pie. Trim the edges and seal. Put 3 or 4 slits in the top of the crust to let steam escape.
4. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until the crust is crisp and golden. Let cool completely on a wire rack before serving.
Makes 10 servings

Lime Cracker Pie
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup water
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1 teaspoon grated lime zest
1/4 cup lime juice
2 tablespoons butter, cut into bits
Pastry for two 9-inch crusts, store-bought or homemade
45 Ritz Crackers (5 ounces), broken in half

1. In a small saucepan, combine the water, sugar and cream of tartar. Bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Reduce to a high simmer and cook for 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the lime zest, lime juice and butter, stirring until the butter is melted. Let cool to warm (about 30 minutes).
2. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 425°F. Roll out the bottom crust and fit into a 9-inch pie plate.
3. Place the crackers in the crust and pour the warm lime syrup over them. Roll out the top crust and place over the pie. Trim the edges and seal. Put 3 or 4 slits in the top of the crust to let steam escape.
4. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until the crust is crisp and golden. Let cool completely on a wire rack before serving.
Makes 10 servings

More apple gadgets

If you're not interested in giving up the storage space to the wonderful apple peeler/corer mentioned in yesterday's post, then maybe you could go for one of these more elementary apple cutting devices.

1 Possibly more objet d'art than kitchen utensil, this stainless steel Giro Apple Slicer twists to cut perfectly even slices. $38 at Uncommon Goods.

2 From the OXO Good Grips line, the Apple Divider. It cores and wedges in one motion. $10 from OXO

3 A straight-up apple corer from Kitchenaid. $10 from Amazon.

4 This tong-style apple corer solves the sometimes thorny problem of how to get the apple core out of the corer. With the tongs closed, you push through an apple as you would with any corer. When you pull the core out, you open up the tongs to release the core. $10 from Lehman's.

5 This old-fashioned looking apple corer addresses the issue differently. It provides a plunger to push the core out of the corer. $5 from Applesource.

6 And finally a really Old Skool apple corer from Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts. This tin apple corer is made by the tinsmith at the museum and sells for $12.95 from their online store. It can be a little tricky to navigate the website and there's no way to provide a direct link. But if you go to the storefront and click on "Made at Old Sturbridge Village" and then "Tinware," you'll find it.

The essential gadget for making apple butter

This contraption is manufactured by many folks and has been around forever. If you're serious about cooking mass quantities of apples (now that it's apple-picking season), you absolutely need to have one. These pictures are from the day I made Apple Butter. You start by jamming an apple onto the prongs at the end of a long crank.

As you turn the crank, the apple is rotated and pushed forward at the same time. It passes by a spring-loaded blade that takes off the peel as the apple turns.








At the same time, another blade slices the apple into a thin spiral cut and removes the core.

You can find this style of apple peeler in lots of places. The Back to Basics brand I use sells for $23 from Amazon.

Apple butter

I love apple butter.
That's it.
That's the blog post.
Though if you scroll to the bottom you'll see a cool cooking tool.

Apple Butter
I used Rome apples because they are usually cheaper than other apples (except for Red Delicious, which are disgusting). They aren't quite as tart, so that's what the lemon juice is for. Also, the reason for the tall sides on the pot is because as the apples cook (especially in the early stages), they spit steam and hot apple.



1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons water
4-3/4 pounds Rome apples (about 7), peeled, cored and thinly sliced
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoon salt

1. Combine the sugar, lemon juice and water in a tall-sided, heavy-bottomed saucepan or Dutch oven.
2. Add the apples. Cover and bring the sugar mixture to a boil over high heat, about 1 minute. Reduce to a high simmer and cook until the apples are very tender, 35 to 40 minutes, stirring once or twice.
3. Sprinkle the apples with the cinnamon, allspice and salt. With an immersible blender, blend the apples until smooth (or transfer to a food processor or regular blender to do the same).
4. Bring the applesauce back to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce to a simmer and cook, uncovered, until the mixture is very thick, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. This will take 1 hour or more, depending on the size and weight of the pot, the heat of the burner and the moisture content of the apples. The apple butter is done when you can draw a spoon through it and it is very slow to close back up again.
Makes 1 generous quart

And just in case you feel the urge to make a truly gigantic batch of apple butter, you'll be happy to know that for $130 you can buy a lovely hardwood apple butter stirrer (say that without sounding drunk) from Lehman's. The paddle of the stirrer is 2 feet long; the handle is over 5 feet.

Dinosaur stuff

My son is 23 now, but when I see a dinosaur book/toy/object, I still get this parental urge to buy it for him. Or maybe it was always about me. I didn't have a dinosaur obsession when I was a kid, so I sort of lived that vicariously through my son. I was just as happy to know about the knobbed killing thingie (scientific term) on the end of an ankylosaurus tail as he was.

So here are the things that I've come across recently that make me wish I still had a 7-year-old deep in the throes of dinosaurophilia.

First up is this very fine pasta server (called a Pastasaurus), $7.50 from perpetual kid.










And what could be cooler (wink) than ice cubes in the shape of dinosaur bones? This set of two Fossilice molds makes Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops cubes. They're $14.95 at Amazon.







And finally, Dino Sticks, chopsticks for those not quite up to the real thing. They come in a set of 8 different dinosaurs, including the Parasaurolophus, Velociraptor and Pteranodon you see here. The set is $17.95 from Nexus Gadgets.

On hiatus

Hello to my loyal fan base. I am on blog hiatus (blogiatus?) because I'm developing recipes for a new cookbook. This is a good thing. Will rejoin you in awhile.

Meanwhile, here's a photograph of a spaghetti squash plant in my garden. My Pumpkin Tree Project failed miserably (not enough sun or water or both), but now there's the Inadvertent Spaghetti Squash Project.

One night this summer I made spaghetti squash for dinner (well, Mother Nature made the spaghetti squash, I cooked it). When I split it open to clean it, I discovered that the seeds had begun to sprout. So, seizing the opportunity, I planted them. Now the plants are climbing fences and putting out blossoms like crazy, but they entered the game a bit late so I would be surprised if I got any actual squash. Whatever.

Next year I'm planning a weed garden. I've heard they do well.